Mike O'Connell

Residents: We are not amused. What a great headline. Seriously.

You may recall a couple months ago I told you about Loudoun County’s “Nighttime Economy Ad Hoc Committee.” That’s an ad hoc committee of the Loudoun Economic Development Advisory Commission. (What was the fake charity George Costanza invented on an episode of Seinfeld? The Human Fund? “Money for people.”) Well, that committee has, according to The Washiington Post, “been looking at ways of stimulating [sic] the nighttime economy to make Loudoun more attractive to business and the young workers they employ.”

The thing about socialism is that it requires too many evenings.

On Monday, March 14 (sorry… news travels slowly without a media committee), about 75 people who couldn’t find something real to do with their evening time “turned out to provide comments in small groups that corresponded to seven subcommittees that studied entertainment, public space and amenities, housing, transportation, public safety, compliance with government regulations and economic development.” Again, thanks, Washington Post. I don’t even have to come up with material anymore. I just reprint their news articles. What was it Will Rogers said? “I don’t make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts.” Amen, brother.

Members of various Loudoun County committees and subcommittees presented plans and ideas bent on, you know, attracting some excitement to the richest county in America. Because…

“There’s nothing for me here.”

Ha! Classic Binghamton. Nothing to do here.

Terri Randolph of Leesburg says she often goes to the District for entertainment. She would like to see “more restaurants, more lounges, more places where you have live music, more places where it’s a little bit more diverse.”

O Government, Government, maketh me the entertainment!

And “places where it’s a little bit more diverse”? Seriously, what is that? Is that a grammar mistake or a hillbilly joke?

Todd Pearson, one of two co-chairmen of the Nighttime Economy Ad Hoc Committee, said the committee received almost 1,000 responses to an online survey to solicit public input on the matter. The committee “will revise (its) recommendations” (HA!), then present them to the Economic Development Advisory Commission in May, followed by a presentation to the Board of Supervisors’ finance committee in June.

I say more leprechauns, more unicorns, more magic beans, more bread and circuses!

And they say there’s nothing amusing in Loudoun County.

Due to circumstances I cannot explain, this will be the final post ever at mikeo… who am I kidding? I can’t even type it with a straight face. No April Fool’s jokes here: too many awesome things happening in the world.

Beginning with TV, sweet TV.

Did you watch last night’s premiere episode of CNN’s The Eighties? Brought to you by the same folks who brought us The Sixties and The Seventies (see a pattern?), The Eighties is perhaps even more enjoyable for me because it’s the first one of these decades I actually remember. Last night’s episode, as went the previous two series, focused on the impact of television, featuring a few shows and events I actually remember watching. It’s two hours of your time very well spent, and CNN will show it a thousand more times in case you missed it.

Ditto Archer on FX, the network which is fast becoming my favorite cable channel. Last night was the Season Seven (can you believe it?) premiere of the show that generally does everything right as far as what should happen on a cable spy program shown post-family hour. I realize Archer’s not for everybody, but if you can handle it do yourself a favor and please do so.

More reasons to keep on living.

Saturday evening I was counting the money in my head. No, in my hand. It was there in my hand. Virginia, North Carolina, Notre Dame, Syracuse, Oklahoma. I was imagining how I’d use that office pool money. Something silly? Something useful? Who cares… it’s all about bragging rights anyway, because still I’d do it if the prize were a stick of gum.

My presumptive victory lasted about 45 minutes Saturday night until the Kansas-Villanova game began. Two classic choking teams and I picked the wrong one.

Easy come, easy go.

It was in this spirit, not caring about money and bragging rights, that I watched my beloved childhood basketball team, the Syracuse Orange (in my day they were the Orangemen), complete the most unlikely Final Four run in a decade. Heaven can wait.

And there I found the true meaning of Christmas.

Er, March Madness.

For my money President Obama’s trip to Cuba this week—the first such trip by a sitting U.S. president in nearly 90 years—is an empty gesture at best and an embarrassment at worst. Would someone please get me a president who does not begin foreign visits by explaining how rotten our country is and why we have no business criticizing others.

I think all restrictions on travel and trade between the United States and Cuba should have ended decades ago, if ever put into effect at all. One of the nice things about free trade is that you don’t really have to like the people you’re trading with. You’ve got something they want, they’ve got something you want, and you leave politics, religion, and the Great Pumpkin out of it.

The Brothers Castro, who are now laughing at their 11th consecutive U.S. president, run a prison. It’s not a utopia, it’s not a workers’ paradise, it’s not a communist dreamland. It’s a place where people are literally dying to get out.

If the good citizens of Cuba want to make cheap products for me to buy, I’d let them. If they want to offer me vacation rentals, I’d let them. I wouldn’t pretend it’s a pleasant place any more than some other Third World country that might have a nice beach.

I’m ready for a U.S. president to say our nation’s laws and customs are morally superior to those of our trading partners, but that’s okay because we’re also less petty and juvenile.

And I’m staying at Resort de Trump Havana when it opens.

When the first real day of the NCAA Tournament falls on St. Patrick’s Day you can be pretty sure very little work is getting done after about noon.

Topped only by the lack of work done the next day before noon.