2023 in review

It’s that time again.

No, not Christmas (though I suppose it is), but full report on this year’s Christmas list. Christmas schedule, actually, not list. “List” is the people I send cards to. “Schedule” is the things one must do between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Here’s the official schedule for 2023, culminating with this year’s addenda. (We’re now up to 94.)

Done.

Things to do between Thanksgiving and Christmas, 2023 edition.

First two:

1. Listen to Frank Sinatra’s A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra. Recorded in 1957, it set the bar high for holiday albums. Preferably listened to on long-playing record, where one can easily note the change in mood from contemporary (side one) to traditional (side two), I like to listen to this album in its entirety late on Thanksgiving evening.

2. Put up Christmas lights in the den. Nothing looks better than the glow of your television backlit by multi-colored bulbs.

 

Speaking of your TV… watch these Christmas specials.

3. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

4. It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown (1992)

5. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

6. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)

7. Frosty the Snowman (1969)

8. Frosty Returns (1992)

9. A Garfield Christmas (1987)

10. “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” (first full episode of TheSimpsons; original airdate: December 17, 1989)

11. “The Strike” (the “Festivus” episode of Seinfeld; original airdate: December 18, 1997)

12. “Classy Christmas” episode of The Office (original airdate: December 9, 2010)

13. “The Night of the Meek” episode of The Twilight Zone (original airdate: December 23, 1960)

14. “Road to the North Pole” episode of Family Guy, original airdate: December 12, 2010

15. “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo” episode of South Park (original airdate: December 17, 1997)

16-19. Four episodes of The Wonder Years, Christmas-themed episodes from Seasons 2 and Seasons 4-6 (1988 and 1990-92)

20. The BBC broadcast of Raymond Briggs’ The Snowman. (One of those rare circumstances in which the movie is better than the book.) Double bonus if you watch the American version with an intro from that famous American, David Bowie!

21. Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983). Dickens got nothin’ on this one.

22. Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (1999). Without credits this one’s only an hour, so I moved it this year from the full-length movie list to the shorty list.

 

And now the aforementioned full-length movies one must watch.

23. Home Alone (1990)

24. A Christmas Story (1983)

25. Elf (2003)

26. Christmas Vacation (1989)

27. Holiday Inn (1942)

28. White Christmas (1954)

29. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

30. Bad Santa (2003).

31. 8-bit Christmas (2021) This one’s going to make Top 365 too.

32. Single All the Way (2021) Possible 365 addition.

33. Happiest Season (2020) Further proof that the new ones are growing on me.

34. Vegas Vacation (1997) It really has nothing to do with Christmas, but I watched it one year at Christmas time and it just made sense.

35. Hook (1991) Sort of a Christmas movie.

36. A Christmas Story Christmas (2022) Another possible 365 addition.

 

Certain things you’ll want to eat or drink…

37. Coca-Cola (the beverage of Christmas)

38. an old-school regular peppermint candy cane

39. those white nougat candies with the tree image in the center

40. those cheap shortbread cookies that are dyed pink or green and are surprisingly delicious, not to be confused with the ones that come in the blue tins

41. those cookies that come in the blue tins

42. a chocolate orange (why do they not sell these all year?!)

43. chocolate bar wrapped to look like a hundred-dollar bill (same question as above)

44. Martinelli’s sparkling cider

45. cinnamon rolls for breakfast (Christmas Eve or Christmas Day)

46. crescent rolls for dinner (same)

47. S’mores. Homemade. Preferably prepared outside, but inside if you must.

48. one of those Reece’s peanut butter “trees”

49. Stovetop popcorn. Strung up, eaten, or both.

50. hot chocolate

51. Chips and dip. My only childhood memory of my father’s parents house is eating potato chips and sour cream and onion dip on Christmas Eve from a garish ’70s-era green chip-and-dip bowl set. In your recreation any bowl will do.

52. Peppermint stick ice cream (I used to insist upon Perry’s as the brand but Trader Joe’s makes a mean one now too.)

53. Wendy’s Peppermint Frosty (tell Wendy to bring this back every year)

54. egg nog

55. Grown-up egg nog

56. Peppermint Bark

57. One (or more) of those “holiday” pies from McDonald’s. Yeah, “holiday.” They can’t even say what kind of fruit or cream or whatever it is. It’s just holiday deliciousness.

 

Things to hear…

Other than Sinatra’s album (see #1) there are four that must be listened to in their entirety.

58. Vince Guaraldi Trio’s A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

59. Tony Bennett’s A Swingin’ Christmas. Recorded with the Count Basie Big Band in 2008, proof that at 82, the man could still swing.

60. Ella Fitzgerald’s Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas. Recorded in 1960, it took nearly a half century for another Christmas album to swing as hard.

61. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, full album that accompanied the movie including instrumental bonus tracks.

62. My own Christmas playlists on Spotify, now totaling nearly six hours of holiday music.

 

Other things to see, hear, taste, read, do, or experience.

63. Check out the red lights lining Georgetown Parkway at Krop’s Crops in Great Falls. Which they did bring back this year.

64. But still get your tree from Krop’s. (I did, but admittedly I’m changing this one for next year. Krop’s got great lights but their trees are pretty beat.)

65. Red stripes on my front porch pillars? Nope, don’t have pillars any more. But I do have a giant tree out front… which has been wrapped like a 20-foot-tall candy cane. I get to do it because I was the one in my neighborhood who thought of it first.

66. Take a journey out to the Meadowlark Botanical Gardens in Vienna (Virginia, not Austria) and walk through the “Winter Walk of Lights.” Worth the walk.

67. Drive through the Bull Run Festival of Lights (Centreville, Va.), amazingly even better than the walk-through at Meadowlark, seen from the comfort of your car.

68. See a performance of The Nutcracker, or at least listen to the “soundtrack” in its entirety.

69. Enjoy an evening at home watching that yule log image on your television.

70. Find a Christmas party at someone’s house (preferably way nicer than your own house) and go there. Bonus points if you’re playing the piano and getting paid to be there.

71. Donate toys to charity.

72. Get one of those fancy cheese calendars from Aldi and enjoy delicious foreign cheese every day in December.

73. Deposit money in one of those Salvation Army red kettles.

74. Read Truman Capote’s “One Christmas.”

75. Read Truman Capote’s “A Christmas Memory.” Double bonus points if you pair it with #76.

76. Have Jack Daniel’s on Sinatra’s birthday (December 12). This really has nothing to do with Christmas but it does fall in the season. You should have Jack Daniel’s from time to time anyway just to be reminded of what a real drink tastes like, before the world was overrun by girly cocktails and macchiatos with skim milk.

 

Places to go…

78. The mall. Every community has a place simply referred to as “the mall.” Go there and experience the true meaning of Christmas.

79. A giant decorated tree in a shopping plaza (again, everyone has one… or in Loudoun County we have about a dozen).

80. Big Lots… trust me, weird off-brand Christmas stuff.

81. Dunkin’ Donuts… best Christmas displays of your standard commercial food operations.

82. Visit “the intersection” in Great Falls, Virginia. This is where Georgetown Parkway meets Walker Road, basically the only intersection in town. Highlighted by the Village Centre shopping mall (classy enough to warrant the British spelling of centre), this corner is pretty much 360 degrees of holiday cheer. Drink in the holiday awesomeness.

83. Read Mercer Mayer’s Merry Christmas Mom and Dad.

84. Watch one of your old home movies filmed at Christmastime. Double bonus points if it’s on VHS.

85. Make a new home movie. Triple a million bonus points if you’re recording it on VHS. Minus a million points if you’re recording on your phone.

And finally, everyone has his or her own unique Christmas toys or games that have special meaning. Make these your last three. For me I have two from my childhood and one from adulthood.

86. The mouse Advent calendar. Back before Advent calendars were ubiquitous (and could set you back 20, 50, or 100 bucks depending how adult you wanted them to be), I had a simple cloth calendar that hung on my bedroom door. There were 24 pockets, and each day a little toy mouse moved from pouch to pouch, producing a toy, money, or treat each day. I’ve now given Franklin the calendar and he’s brought the tradition into the 21st century. I’m also on the third generation of cats who like to steal that little mouse.

87. The dancing Coca-Cola bear. Purchased in about 1993, this item always makes me smile. It’s a stuffed bear, about a foot tall, holding an upright bass and wearing sunglasses. It sits on a pedestal adorned with the Coca-Cola label, and dances to a medley of “Jingle Bells” and “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.”

88. Also from the world of Coke memorabilia… a Holiday 2005 glass bottle which sits on my bookshelf 12 months a year. The beverage was consumed more than a dozen years ago but the bottle looks like it just came off the factory line. It was the last thing my father ever gave me. (Well, last physical thing.)

 

New ones…

89. Little Debbie’s Christmas Trees. Oh, snack of my youth… where ya been the last few years? Thanks, Debbie, for brining this one back.

90. I paid for this Christmas party! Listened to in its entirety.

91. “Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation.” First airing in December 2009, this is the first of two Phineas and Ferb Christmas specials. This is the one you want to watch, as Phineas and Ferb save Christmas as only they can.

92. Dr. Suess’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas studio album. Yeah, it’s really just the audio track of the TV special, but worth 25 minutes of your time. Radio theater at its finest.

93. Recite Clement Clarke Moore’s “A Visit from St. Nicholas.” You know it as “The Night Before Christmas.” First appearing in a Troy, New York, newspaper in December of 1823, this year marks the 200th anniversary of the classic tale.

94. Home Alone 2. Yeah, it’s not the first one, but damned if it hasn’t grown on me the last few years. Watching it with my son has helped, and I think it’s going to make the second edition of 365 Movies. My highest praise.

Franklin magic one more once

This week I received end-of-year metrics on the podcast, for the most part confirming suspicions garnered through casual observation.

Among other things the top three downloaded episodes this entire season (there are 51 total as of today) all feature my only guest and only child, Franklin O. from Sterling.

I figured he’d be at least 25 before he started to outshine me everywhere he went.

I was off by a few decades.

Well, when you can’t beat ’em, put ’em on the podcast.

Exhibit A? Today’s episode.

Live from the classroom

This is it. Today’s the day. Today’s the day Mr. O’Connell brings in his keyboard and turns math class into a music hall.

It’s gotten to be less and less of a secret the greater the number of years I’ve done it but the kids still say it beats fractions and equations.

So does broccoli, but music is more fun.

New blog hits Internet!

I thought I was pretty cool when, at the age of 18, I started my first blog.

My son beat me to it by nearly a decade.

Yes, Franklin’s got his own blog now, devoted to delicious foods and restaurant reviews, of course.

Not bad for a nine-year-old.

It’s called Franklin’s Food Review, and there’s a link to it at the top of this page.

Or, you can click here.

Bon appetit!

Three lists

Probably the most famous single list in the world is the Ten Commandments.

Just one list, 10 things.

Santa Claus maintains two lists, naughty and nice, updating them continuously.

Me? I’ve got three lists: Christmas list, Christmas card list, and my life goal list, referred to now as my “living list.”

I update that one continuously too.

And for a further explanation, check out today’s episode of Math and Musings.

Changing of the guard

When the next edition of 365 Movies drops (c. 2028) I’m replacing Christmas Vacation with 8-Bit Christmas.

Yes, Christmas Vacation is a classic, but damn 8-Bit Christmas is the story of my life. Seriously, even the dates line up and everything. It was Christmas ’88 that I fell in love with Nintendo and became obsessed with getting one after playing it… nay, experiencing it at a friend’s house. (It was actually my cousins’ place.) I begged my parents for six months and then… magic.

And I still have it.

And 35 years later I’m telling my son the story of how it all happened. And playing those games with him.

And watching movies like 8-Bit Christmas.

Thank you, Oreoification

The H.B. Reese Candy Company was established in 1923 by Harry Burnett Reese in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Mr. Reese had been a shipping foreman for one Milton Hershey, then left his position to start his own candy company and, five years later, developed the signature “cup” which bears his name.

All told there are probably a hundred different variations of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. From miniature to King Size and thin to Big Cup, there are also trees and hearts, and various fillings, including but not limited to potato chips, pretzel bits, and cereal puffs.

Yeah, they’ve done the Oreoification bit.

And in classic fashion, all of these variations are… almost as good as the original.

Until now.

Enter Caramel Reese’s. Or should I say reenter, as various sources claim such a product existed in certain markets the past decade or two.

I had one for the first time yesterday.

I don’t think I can ever go back.

Dammit, Caramel Reese’s! You’ve ruined the regular cup for me now.

Okay, time to stock up before these things disappear.

Let them be young

Holiday festivities this season have centered around striking a balance between what I can and cannot allow my nine-year-old son to experience. For example, 8-Bit Christmas? Yeah, he can handle that. South Park Christmas? Not so much.

It’s not that I don’t think he’ll get it. I worry he’ll get it a little too well.

Bloom’s off the rose with Santa Claus; there are only so many things left to keep sacred.

My new sparring partner

In my front yard these days I have an eight-foot-tall inflatable Santa Claus. Every morning I wrestle with it for 20 minutes or so getting it upright and balanced properly. If you’ve ever seen an episode of Family Guy where Peter is fighting the chicken it’s kind of like that.

Needless to say my Santa Claus is not very jolly. And for an old fat guy he fights pretty good.