There’s a weekly “newspaper” in my community called the Loudoun Times-Mirror. I leaf through it occasionally for a laugh or two, or really because my son likes to retrieve it from the world’s last surviving newspaper box.

An article from its September 28 issue is titled “Report: County under-funding local nonprofits.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

A yearlong review has confirmed what many Loudoun County residents have been saying for years—the county is grossly under-funding its nonprofits.

So say the people who expect to receive that money.

Remember that kid who said his allowance was too high? Yeah, he wasn’t in this survey either.

Something called the “Institute for Policy and Governance” at Virginia Tech conducted the study, and reported its findings to the county’s Board of Supervisors. Didn’t say who funded the study, but I’m pretty sure at the end of the day it’s you, me, and every other taxpaying sucker at the county, state, or federal level. (Or if you’re me: all three.) I’m guessing whatever the survey cost could have been redirected toward closing that funding gap, no?

As I often find myself saying, I don’t even know where to begin.

Overall, the report recommended the county increase the amount of nonprofit funding it provides to the tune of $263,000 to $288,000.

(Can’t they, in all their wizardry, come up with the exact amount?)

But here’s the best part…

Stakeholders, however, are recommending a $1 million increase.

Ha! A million? Why not a trillion or a hundred gazillion? How much money do you think you should get from the government?

Same answer your seven-year-old answers when asked about his allowance… the highest number he can possibly think of.

Quasi-government types really need to learn how to think bigger.