The great thing about 21st century living is that there’s a new cultural phenomenon to get swept up in every five minutes. Don’t like this one? Just wait five minutes.

I might as well weigh in on the sensation of the moment, because everyone else in the world is. It’s Tidying Up, the Netflix bonanza based on the best-selling book. In case you’ve been under a rock the past few weeks, it’s that show in which that woman, you know, Marie Kondo, shows people how to “tidy up” their lives, asking us the immortal question (while holding up a piece of junk): does this spark joy?

Let the record show I am completely on board with the Tidying Up lifestyle. It’s basically what I’ve been doing my whole life; I just never thought to write a book about it. Actually, mine is more like an OCD-inspired need for everything to be organized and in the “right” place.

I like my junk in the right places.

And if you’re going to let me be the one who determines what sparks joy and what doesn’t?

Yeah, I can live with that.

You’d be surprised what I’ll say passes for joy.

Now to go admire my VHS tape collection…