Starting lineups and reserves for this year’s MLB All-Star game have been announced, and I’m happy to say that, well, I’ve heard of a few of the players, even the first-timers.

It’s always embarrassing to note that many of the players are, in fact, younger than I am. Surely, though, there must be some who are my age, no?

(Pauses to check ages of players.)

Every single all-star younger than yours truly.

Shoot.

And then I remembered…

wait a minute…

every single player in MLB is younger than I am.

Oh, right.

Forgot that one in my old age.

Whoops.