Mike O'Connell

Those of you outside the state of Virginia may not be familiar with Sugar Shack Donuts. (Yeah, you hear that name and you like it already.) Probably a little more fancy than you’re thinking, and a little more expensive, but worth every penny. These doughnuts aren’t just for breakfast and cops. These are the doughnuts you have at your wedding. The pride of Richmond, Sugar Shack has a dozen locations in the Old Dominion State (and one in D.C.), most recently the Lansdowne section of Leesburg. Recent as in, like, yesterday, with a grand opening several years in the making.

I’d seen advertisements for the opening online and in the weekly rag I pick up for free at our local Harris Teeter (still beats the Post). Thursday, October 3, 8 a.m., free doughnuts to the first 50 customers.

You had me at free.

I should say that “free” for me includes not waiting in line, so I knew going in it was a gamble. My plan was to show up about 8:03 and see whether I was among the first 50. This is D.C. Everybody works, and everybody gets to work early. I have the benefit of not needing to be at work until 8:30, so two minutes at the doughnut shop directly on my way I can do.

I pulled into the lot. A couple dozen people I would say outside the door. Okay, good. But it’s 8:03; why are they not inside?

As I approach I see the problem. Far from getting free doughnuts, these 20 or 30 people are… listening to speeches from politicians! Politicians… news folks… giant ribbon-cutting scissors. Ack! Where am I, Binghamton? Is that Tom Libous over there?

Waiting for the speeches to finish makes these doughnuts not free. I left doughnutless.

I rarely use the word “Binghamtonian” positively.

This isn’t one of those times either.

The final day of the regular season in Major League Baseball is always an interesting one. There are a couple or at most a few teams jockeying for playoff position, while the rest of the games… mean jack.

Or do they?

In dozens of markets around the country, the fate of Monday’s supper rests in the hands of the local nine! Will your team win and score enough runs to trigger the 50% off coupon code at Papa John’s the following day?

Well?

In Washington, Sunday, my hometown Nationals defeated the Cleveland Indians 8-2. Meaningless game my foot! Tonight it’s pizza time!

Half-price pizza time! Woot!

It’s three months until Christmas Day, officially, but if you’ve been to Costco, Big Lots, or really any big retailer recently you know that the Christmas season is well upon us. Cue up the yule log and Charlie Brown because Christmastime is here. Yes, it’ll still hit 90 degrees a few more days this week, but that’s sort of beside the point, no?

Let the record show I have never appeared in blackface. Or brownface. Or greenface or purple, or any color but for the pasty white hue in which I was born.

Wait–is “sunburn” a color?

No?

I guess it’s been just white.

Oh, man. When your fourth starter throws a three-hit ball over seven innings you start to have dreams. Yeah, that was Anibal Sanchez on the mound for the Nats yesterday, blanking the first-place Braves as my hometown team moved to 16 games over .500 with 14 to play.

Wasn’t it nice to fly under the radar all summer?

Well, no more. My hopes have been raised officially. (And the longer we can not think about football in this town the better.)

Here we go again.