Super-secret formula to Nationals bullpen success: Begin game with arguably the greatest pitcher in baseball today, one Maxwell M. Scherzer, preferably on a night with his best stuff. Step two, have arguably the best hitter in the game today hit two home runs and lead the offense in scoring seven runs to establish 7-0 lead before surrendering to ‘pen.

Step three, hang on… tell Marlins Man to put down the cellphone and watch with us the curly W drawn up just as we planned it.

Nothin’ to it.