Never mind my hometown football team’s exciting and surprising win yesterday against the Seattle Seahawks. The real news around Washington football had nothing to do with the game, the national anthem, or our politically incorrect nickname.

It had to do with pizza.

Yes, pizza was a main topic of discussion in yesterday’s press, specifically the page-two story in The Washington Post concerning players’ favorite pizzerias in town. The debate arose among allegations that Papa John’s, the NFL’s official sponsor, had lost business because of said league’s current controversy surrounding the national anthem. You see, players protest the anthem, fans get angry, and respond not by boycotting the league, but by boycotting its pizza sponsor.

Yup. That’s the line towed by Papa John’s brass in response to its slumping third quarter sales.

Yup.

Investigators at the Post–same folks who gave you Woodword and Bernstein, remember–wanted to know: Is Papa John’s really any good?

According to players? Third place, by a very unscientific survey. Ahead of it? Pizza Hut and Domino’s. Talk about uninspired choices.

To be fair some ‘Skins players gave unusual answers, but those answers were sort of diluted in this pizzagate inquiry.

Hard-hitting journalism never stops in this town.