The morning after Mark McGwire hit his 62nd home run of 1998 my 11th grade math teacher, Mr. McGowan, said he was thinking of changing his name to McGwire in deference to our new home run king.

That was 24 years ago and I still remember it.

Of all the great teachers I’ve met in life (including those who lived in my house) there’s no one on whom I pattern my act now more than Mr. McGwire. I mean McGowan. The demeanor, the structure of the class, the opening monologue, the bad jokes (usually of the “Dad” variety)… and of course a solid color sweater every day.

Sometimes there’d be stories about baseball that turned into math.

Or vice versa.

But I’m not changing my name, even as a gag.

Although Mr. Judge does sound really cool.