If you ask me, Presidents’ Day is a stupid holiday. Or is it President’s Day? Look around and you’ll see we can’t even agree on how to spell it, let alone agree on exactly who we’re supposed to be celebrating. Or is it whom?

Indeed, there are at least a dozen ways the holiday is officially listed among our 50 states. For example, it’s Presidents’ Day in Texas and Vermont, but President’s Day in Maryland and Nebraska. It’s Lincoln/Washington/Presidents’ Day in Arizona, and here in Virginia it’s actually called George Washington Day.

Yup, we still hold grudges re: Mr. Lincoln.

To me there are only three options to solve this mess.

1.) Go back to calling it just “Washington’s Birthday” and celebrate it on February 22. Or February 11, as went the Old Style calendar of his day.

2.) Scrap the whole thing. I mean come on, a holiday to celebrate all presidents? I hate politicians anyway. And anybody out there really want to commemorate Millard Fillmore or Franklin Pierce?

3.) Go with the politically correct “Generic February Monday Holiday.” Nobody’s offended, everybody wins.

And we all still get a day off from work.