This one’s about a week old and therefore ancient history in media years, so most of the world has already forgotten about the hubbub surrounding the University of California’s system-wide policing of racist and sexist “microagressions” in writing and speech.

But I haven’t.

The real creation of this monster actually goes back to this past January, when UC’s president Janet Napolitano (remember her?) sent a letter to her deans and department chairs inviting them to attend seminars “to foster informed conversation about the best way to build and nurture a productive academic climate.”

Yup.

You see, phrases such as America is a melting pot, America is the land of opportunity, and I believe the most qualified person should get the job, can no longer be tolerated at that beacon of free speech, the University of California’s flagship school at Berkeley or any of its subsidiaries. To be fair, these phrases aren’t technically illegal, just, you know, frowned upon because “brief, subtle verbal or non-verbal exchanges that send denigrating messages to the recipient because of his or her group membership (such as race, gender, age or socio-economic status).”

Non-verbal? Are you kidding m—oh God, I’ve said too much.

So-called microaggressions, the argument goes, can lead to “hostile learning environment[s],” which politically-correct types view as legally actionable.

Eep.

But don’t worry, this won’t play any role in grades or tenure or hiring or firing or anything like that, because, you know… Everyone can succeed in this society, if they work hard enough.

Whoops.

[Editor’s note: The only thing that offends me about that last sentence is the grammatical error!]