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This calls for a celebration

The Washington Capitals have reached the Eastern Conference Finals of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. This is cause for celebration around here, the town that hasn’t seen playoff success in any major sport since the last century.

The Caps face off tonight against the Tampa Bay Lightning. (Yeah, Tampa Bay, Florida, has a hockey team.) Tampa Bay won a Stanley Cup in 2004, and therefore has an infinite number more cups than do the Caps. The Lightning have been in the league since 1992. During that time there have been 100 champions crowned in the four major professional sports. Washington’s oh-for-one hundred.

At least Washington brings some hockey pedigree to the NHL’s “Final Four” this year (Frozen Four, if you will). After all, they’ve been in the league longer than the other three teams combined (though Winnipeg had its original Jets for 20 years before this new incarnation, of course). In the Western Conference, Winnipeg faces that powerhouse of hockey… Las Vegas… in what will no doubt be the greatest show ever to hit the Vegas Strip. And much as I love the Caps, seeing Tampa Bay versus Las Vegas for the hockey championship would be something to see.

That’s about as silly as hockey in June.

Which is when the champion will be crowned.

Revolutions are happening all around us

A front-page story in the Business section of Sunday’s Washington Post (always my third-favorite section, by the way, after Sports and Travel), is headlined: “Now hiring for one day: Gig economy hits retail.”

Amen.

The thing that my industry has being doing for decades is now being used everywhere… substitute teachers!
Honestly, I love it. This is the closest we’re getting to a perfectly-efficient market of workers and work. The world has a huge job board and people who want to fill the roles fill them. Want to be a substitute fry cook at McDonald’s for one day? There’s an app for that. This is beyond Uber and Lyft, which have crumpled the taxi “industry.” This is the complete destruction of “jobs” as we know them.
Of course our friends at the Post find problems. What about all those people with “jobs”? What will happen to them? (Seriously, who likes their job, anyway?) Obviously all business owners will just hire these substitute teacher-types, leaving real employees in the cold.
First, there is something to having a bit of job expertise. Not everyone can walk in and be a brain surgeon. Even working at Walmart or Wendy’s requires some training.
What about health insurance?
If this is the only reason you have a “job,” that’s a problem with our whole system. The reason most people’s health insurance is through their employment goes back to salary cap workarounds during World War II. Being paid in cash what we actually deserve to work and paying what we actually deserve to pay for health insurance would be a better system for everyone.
The Post writers worry everyone will fall into that much-maligned “independent contractor” category of worker, with no “rights” or standards or bathroom breaks. Wrong way to look at it. Independent contractors are in a much better position to set their working conditions than those whose sole source of income is a singular boss. I think we should all strive to be independent contractors. After all, at the end of the day, aren’t we really? Nobody works on a plantation anymore.
That’s a good thing.
Companies such as Snag Work, Postmates, and the aforementioned Uber and Lyft have not only built a better mousetrap, they’ve built a whole new universe in which mice and mousetraps interact. Social media has made us all journalists and Airbnb has made us all landlords. This is just the next step. We are all business owners now. CEOs of our own lives.
It may be decades before the revolution comes to all industries. And really, maybe it’s just too dramatic a change to take effect everywhere. (Again, you probably wouldn’t take a substitute brain surgeon.) But for “easy” jobs? You’d take somebody over nobody.
I shouldn’t call this revolutionary. This is actually closer to how things were done a thousand years ago than they are to today. Back then, you wanted something done, you found someone to do it and worked out a price. Easy in a small village, trickier among billions. But billions with smartphones? Game changer.
Prepare for this to be the new normal.
I knew all that practice being a substitute teacher was going to pay off.

Human beings are great; too bad they’re becoming obsolete

Ignore all other signs and predictions regarding the future of Planet Earth. This is it. We have been given the official signal.

Spotted this weekend in Southern Virginia…

McDonald’s. No cashier. Just a computer.

I’d seen signs of this elsewhere. At Royal Farms or Sheetz or some Panera Breads (among others) one can order without talking. Yes, of course at many places there is online ordering from your computer or mobile device. Home delivery. Curbside delivery. It’s been done.

But walking into a McDonald’s–a McDonald’s!–and seeing the register turned around towards you?!

This is it. This is the future.

The robots have won fair and square.

Real news of Washington

The Nats, Nats, Nats, have won four games in a row, back to .500 after a sweep of the Pittsburgh Pirates. (And how good did it feel Tuesday night when the Nats beat the Pirates and the Caps beat the Penguins?)

Unfortunately the Caps, Caps, Caps could not pull off the Pittsburgh double again last night as they fell to the Pens 3-1. That series is now tied at two.

Is this the old playbook rearing its ugly head? Nats play well in May, Caps don’t? Then in October fortunes reverse?

Let’s hope not.

White House Correspondents’ Dinner

A brief article in Sunday’s Washington Post described the previous evening’s social event of the season, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Something like “Trump wasn’t there and nothing happened.”

This is called filing your story before the event actually takes place.

Or at least before Twitter has a chance to respond.

In case you haven’t heard, there has been some pointed debate about this event, on Twitter and off, centering mostly around who’s being mean to whom and other acts of elementary school name-calling.

The Post article mentions none of this. It was Twitter and the “new media” that made the event a storm.

So this really is the new media, example number one million that people get their news from their phones and not newspapers. (And the fact that I, who had the paper sitting at my house, didn’t even bother to read it until Monday evening should tell you everything you need to know.)

I’d write a letter to the editor but honestly, who would read the thing?

Thaaaa Yankees win!

This is how playoff series are won

My, my, how fortunes can change…

Was that the Caps and Wizards I saw this weekend, playing like winners well into April? Let this be a sign of things to come.

Yes, this was a good weekend for D.C. sports.

Good thing I went to bed at 10 last night knowing the Nats had a safe lead.

The new phonebooks are here!

Much as folks around here love the Caps, Nats, and Wizards, there are really only two seasons in the D.C. area: football season and waiting for football season. “Waiting” got a little more real yesterday with the release of the Redskins’ schedule for 2018.

Just two primetime games for the ‘Skins this year, both Mondays and neither one at home. Columbus Day in New Orleans (that’s going to be a long wait that day), and December 3 in Philadelphia against the defending Super Bowl champions (wow, that’s weird to say).

Their playing the Eagles on the last day of the season, too, December 30 at FedEx Field.

Let’s hope that game actually means something.