Residents: We are not amused. What a great headline. Seriously.

You may recall a couple months ago I told you about Loudoun County’s “Nighttime Economy Ad Hoc Committee.” That’s an ad hoc committee of the Loudoun Economic Development Advisory Commission. (What was the fake charity George Costanza invented on an episode of Seinfeld? The Human Fund? “Money for people.”) Well, that committee has, according to The Washiington Post, “been looking at ways of stimulating [sic] the nighttime economy to make Loudoun more attractive to business and the young workers they employ.”

The thing about socialism is that it requires too many evenings.

On Monday, March 14 (sorry… news travels slowly without a media committee), about 75 people who couldn’t find something real to do with their evening time “turned out to provide comments in small groups that corresponded to seven subcommittees that studied entertainment, public space and amenities, housing, transportation, public safety, compliance with government regulations and economic development.” Again, thanks, Washington Post. I don’t even have to come up with material anymore. I just reprint their news articles. What was it Will Rogers said? “I don’t make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts.” Amen, brother.

Members of various Loudoun County committees and subcommittees presented plans and ideas bent on, you know, attracting some excitement to the richest county in America. Because…

“There’s nothing for me here.”

Ha! Classic Binghamton. Nothing to do here.

Terri Randolph of Leesburg says she often goes to the District for entertainment. She would like to see “more restaurants, more lounges, more places where you have live music, more places where it’s a little bit more diverse.”

O Government, Government, maketh me the entertainment!

And “places where it’s a little bit more diverse”? Seriously, what is that? Is that a grammar mistake or a hillbilly joke?

Todd Pearson, one of two co-chairmen of the Nighttime Economy Ad Hoc Committee, said the committee received almost 1,000 responses to an online survey to solicit public input on the matter. The committee “will revise (its) recommendations” (HA!), then present them to the Economic Development Advisory Commission in May, followed by a presentation to the Board of Supervisors’ finance committee in June.

I say more leprechauns, more unicorns, more magic beans, more bread and circuses!

And they say there’s nothing amusing in Loudoun County.