Add egg nog to the list of products overrun by bizarre 21st-century variations. When I was a kid there was “egg nog.” Well, I suppose there were two kinds. You could make it or you could buy it. (But once you could buy it, who was still making it?)

Oreos, Triscuits, Pop-Tarts. When I was a kid there might have been two or three versions of these products, tops. (And that was a huge increase from the one version that existed previously.) Candy bars are now getting into the act as well. Even the classics (Snickers, Milky Ways, 3 Musketeers, etc.) have altered versions of the classic form. Reece’s cups, Twix, M&Ms, of course. Heck, even Hershey bars aren’t Hershey bars anymore. And don’t get me started on Hershey Kisses.

Christmastime, naturally, is the great flowering of said blooms. Everything at least has an unusual holiday wrapper, no? And often the items themselves go red, white, and/or green. That’s the magic of 21st-century living. They can make anything taste like anything.

Pumpkin-flavored egg nog? You betcha. Sugar cookie egg nog? Caramel egg nog?

That these products didn’t exist a few years ago is the kind of news that absolutely stuns my students. And you had how many channels on your TV, Mr. O’Connell? Four. But PBS didn’t come in so well.

From four channels to caramel egg nog in one lifetime. I must be really lucky or really old.