Front-page headline from yesterday’s LoudounNow, the weekly rag distributed in my adopted hometown: “Loudoun Leaders Target Lower Housing Costs as Top Priority.”

Sometimes you just don’t even know where to start.

And yes, you know you’re living in a wealthy area when a top priority is to make property less valuable.

First, the word “cost.” Housing “costs” are going to be lower? Our “leaders” somehow possess the ability to lower the means of production. Might as well lower the sea levels while we’re at it too.

I suppose what Loudoun “leaders” seek to do is lower the prices of homes in the county. The people who sell houses are just setting the prices way to high, and apparently tricking people into paying them.

I’m reminded of the old Yogi Berra line, probably the most beautiful of all Yogi-isms: It’s so crowded nobody goes there anymore.

To address this issue, county supervisors have created what they call the “Unmet Housing Needs Strategic Plan.” (I swear I am not making this up.) Agencies involved in the planning of this plan include the Department of Family Services, the Loudoun Human Services network, the Commission on Aging, and the Disability Services Board. (Yeah, I’m just scanning the article for names of agencies.) It reminds me of Will Rogers once said: I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.)

Short version of the story: property around here has just become too valuable, and we’ve got to do something about it. Where everyone else in the world is trying to make his property better, we might try the opposite. I guess shutting down that Silver Line should be our first priority because you know what? That’s only going to make it worse. I mean better. No… worse. I’m not really sure anymore.

Coming next week: a list of items I think are too expensive that I want my county legislature to magically reduce the price of.