Yesterday I had the pleasure of visiting the National Aquarium in Baltimore. Located in the heart of the Inner Harbor, it truly is one of the great marine and architectural wonders of the world.

They’ve got thousand-pound sharks who will swim right up to you, giant tortoises a century old. The peacock mantis shrimp? They’ve got several. Ditto the white-blotched river stingray and the hyacinth macaw.

You can touch a jellyfish if you’d like.

The cafeteria’s got some pretty delicious wares…

but ask for a straw and they look at you like a 20th-century cretin.