Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is leaving Congress so he can “spend more time with his family.” Oh give me a break. You’ve got a team of speechwriters and this is the best you can come up with? “Spending more time with my family” is the oldest line in the book. It’s more like how one would “retire” from Congress on Saturday Night Live, or perhaps a Mel Brooks movie.

Many years ago the late Joe Sullivan said he wanted to do a study of the real reason every time a politician said he was leaving office to “spend more time with his family.” He and I discussed this in about 2005. I said 100% of the time the real answer is… I thought I was going to lose.

I stand by my answer.

(By the way, this whole exchange is included in the “monologue” track on Live ‘n On Q.)

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go spend some time with my family.